What Should I Do With My Life?

What Should I Do With My Life?

I can trace where I am in career to an exact moment that happened almost five years ago. One day out of pure frustration, after weeks of heavy personality testing and reading tons of career and self-discovery books that were “telling” me nothing, I googled the question that I had been asking most of my adult life.

As if seeking out some kind of oracle to give me the answer, I typed in “what should i do with my life?” and hoped the first search result would give me the hit I had been longing for. What I got was a book titled What Should I do With My Life? written in 2005 by Po Bronson. I immediately ordered the book. As I waited for it to ship to my house, secretly I hoped it actually had the answer.

What Should I do With My Life? of course didn’t have any answers for me, but it did inspire me. The book was filled with stories of everyday people who had no clue what their “calling” was, just like me! Po determined from countless interviews that for most people a calling isn’t something you know, it’s something you grow into. What moved people to action, Po discovered, was surprising:

I learned that it was in hard times that people usually changed the course of their life; in good times, they frequently only talked about change. Hard times forced them to overcome the doubts that normally gave them pause.

(These people) made mistakes before summoning the courage to get it right. Their path called into question the notion that a calling is something you inherently know when you’re young. Far from it. They discovered in themselves gifts they rarely realized they had.

They spoke of fulfillment, not happiness. Very often they found fulfillment in living up to their moral responsibility to society – in finding some way to feel they were helping others, or at least connect genuinely with others.

Why does this matter?

Making changes in your life is hard. But not making them is equally painful. In fact, psychologists say that fulfillment, or the ability to fully express yourself, is a basic human need. If there is a gap between how you express yourself and the action you take, you will likely become frustrated and feel powerless.

Commitment is hard work

As Po writes in his book, people mostly change during hard times, when they’re forced to choose, to make commitments. This is hard work because committing means dealing with the loss of the decisions we did not make. It also means you cannot hedge your bets, or play it safe; it can be embarrassing and make you vulnerable.

On the other hand, a deep commitment is principle-centered, enabling you to act according to your deepest ideals and wishes. Commitment also teaches you to fail, and there is enormous learning in failing. Finally, and most importantly, commitment is the only way to achieve your goals and have complete self-expression.

What Should I Do With My Life? hit me like a lightning bolt. I was inspired and motivated because my calling wasn’t something I knew, it is something I had to grow into. And it’s been hard work, and yes, I’ve had to fail. And commit. And give things up. But I’ve discovered gifts in myself, and I am helping others. I am fulfilled.